Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
