just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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