someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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