I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
