In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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