dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
