Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
