O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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