6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize