She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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