He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
