Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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