Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
