dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
They are going to name an STD after you.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
