I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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