Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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