I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
