Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
