just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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