i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
