Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
