like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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