Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
