that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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