I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
