i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize