New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
