Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
