It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We are all done wearing pants today
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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