no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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