Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Drunk is not a location!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
