I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
