So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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