you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
