I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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