this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
