i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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