this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize