Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
