So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
