I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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