i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
