The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
