I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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