I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
