i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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