i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Randomize
