I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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