if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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