Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
