Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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