I have demons in me.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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