Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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