He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
