Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
