Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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