Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
