I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
