I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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