garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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