is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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