i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
