is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Randomize
