Plan B is the new Plan A
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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