Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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