the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
