The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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