in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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